Lately i’ve come to realize that perhaps the most difficult part about life is not just that curve balls get thrown at you, but that you cannot control the time or circumstances under which they are thrown. You don’t get the luxury of seeing when that curve ball hits, you just get to deal with the brutal aftermath and decide how you’ll get back up and heal.

As most know, less than a month ago I lost my brother. Needless to say, that was the biggest curve ball life has thrown at me. I will deal with that loss everyday and it’s unfathomably difficult. Just as I was beginning to understand how I felt about that situation, life threw me another curve ball. One week ago I was let go of from my job due to restructuring, cutting of finances, etc. etc. etc.

Now let me stop for a second and say something that will probably sound like a contradiction at this point: I do not want your pity. I am not writing this to answer the question, “why me?!” There are no answers for that question. This is the hand I was dealt and i’m playing it the best I can. I open up about my struggles for the following reasons:

1. Writing is cathartic for me and helps me understand my own thoughts a little better

2. In the words of my celebrity crush, Macklemore: “See life’s a beautiful struggle, I record it, hope it helps you maneuvering through yours.”

Losing my job was a tough pill to swallow, I simply didn’t see it coming. I interned there in college and was fortunate enough to be employed full-time before I even walked the stage at graduation. It was the perfect launching pad for my career. I was given the tools to grow my skill set, network my ass off, meet incredibly intelligent and compassionate people, and most importantly, learn what I like and dislike about the working world around me.

So instead of sulking in my sorrows, I viewed the loss of my job as an incredible opportunity. While it’s a known fact that I adore Buffalo beyond measure, I also crave adventure and change. It’s just the way I’m programmed. I would be thrilled to stay, but i’m also ecstatic to know that the possibility of a new city is more within my reach than ever before. Yes, the reality of it all is a bit daunting. But the unknown is what makes the exhaustion of it all so ridiculously worthwhile.

These curve balls are never going to end. Some will make me drop to my knees and cry, I’m sure others will make me grin like an idiot and appreciate life in a whole new way. Regardless, they will each teach me a lesson. Learning that lesson and sharing it with others has always been what keeps me going. That will never change.

*Shameless plug: in the meantime, if anyone knows of job openings that fall in line with community management/marketing/public relations, you can view my LinkedIn profile here 🙂

“See life’s a beautiful struggle, I record it
Hope it helps you maneuvering through yours and
That’s why we stay in the lab at night
I’ve been staring into this pad for over half my life
A true artist won’t be satisfied
So I guess that’s the sacrifice
And I say
Make the money, don’t let the money make you
Change the game, don’t let the game change you
I’ll forever remain faithful
All my people stay true”