Today’s post comes from the wise insight of my best friend.
“You forgave him but ultimately I think you need to forgive yourself, too. You need to forgive yourself for opening up and letting someone in who ended up hurting you and screwing you over in the end. Not even forgiving like it was a bad thing because stuff like that is inevitable. But I think most of the reason you’re still wrapped up in it is because you can’t fathom the fact that someone you cared so deeply for and cared so deeply for you did that to you. You have to forgive yourself for being so forgiving and still loving him because you can’t help things like that. I know you and I know you keep thinking about everything and playing it back in your head and wondering why and how it happened and what you can do differently. Forgive life for slapping you in the face because you did everything you could and it still happened.“
Friends are the cheapest form of therapy. And I am beyond grateful for mine.
I am grateful. So unbelievably overwhelmed with feelings of appreciation and thanks. No, I do not have it all. I haven’t been grocery shopping in weeks, I just ate my last 3 eggs for dinner, my winter coat is ‘so last season’ and i’m up to my ears in student loans.
But I have a roof over my head and a cozy apartment that after months of waiting and saving up, is finally starting to look like a home. I have the best friends a girl could ever ask for. I have a steady paycheck that comes from hard work done with an amazing group of people that I am proud to call not just my coworkers, but my friends. I have a family who despite their faults, would go to the end of the earth for one another and is never too shy to say ‘I love you’. Aside from a knocked up knee and a stiff back, my health is good and I am strong enough to go about my day with as much energy as a classroom full of kindergarteners right before recess.
My past has taught me lessons that have given me a beautiful present and a hopeful future. So today, I am grateful. I am optimistic, full of love, and so very happy to just be alive. What are you thankful for?