It won’t stop

We wouldn’t be able to move on from some of life’s most exhausting experiences if the world went ahead and said: Alright. It’s been pretty tough lately; let me slow down and accommodate to you and your needs. There, there; it will all be okay in the end.

The fact that the world doesn’t stop, or even slow down for that matter, is exactly what keeps us from stopping. It forces us to keep pushing forward even when the only thing we want to do is completely shut down and freeze for awhile.

I bet each and every one of us can think of a string of occurrences where it was just one blow after the next; one more you’ve got to be kidding me right now; one more what the hell am I going to do next? And ya know what? Life will never stop giving us circumstances in which we have no choice but to accommodate and refocus, buckle up and keep going. I may be a true optimist at heart, but I am not naive to the troubling circumstances that each person is susceptible to.

There’s annoyance and pain in the fact that life kicks you in the ass over and over again and doesn’t stop. It’s a stressor that can eat you alive if you don’t find ways to balance it out and shift your focus to what’s still good in the world.

Yet if you’re willing to look around you just a little more intently, you’ll see that there’s beauty in that god-awful frustration. Life is always going to knock you around and try to break you, the least you can do for yourself is fight back.


“For a long time it had seemed to me that life was about to begin—real life. But there was always some obstacle in the way. Something to be got through first, some unfinished business, time still to be served, a debt to be paid. Then life would begin. At last it dawned on me that these obstacles were my life.



Just us girls

Late last week, I watched my Facebook newsfeed flood with posts about National Sibling Day. With the recent passing of my brother, it inevitably triggered an overwhelming sadness that was difficult for me to shake.

Yet as I scrolled through one picture after the other, I realized I was being a total jerk, because I still have two siblings who are alive and well right here, right now. My two sisters mean the world to me, and while I tell them I love them every day, let this be a testament to two of the strongest women I know.

Me, Emily, Mary. Easter 2013. Sorry you look like hell, Em 😉

Mary is my older sister, and the oldest kid in our family. Most who know me recognize Mary because she’s the mother to my feisty, hilarious, gorgeous niece, Alice. Next to my own mother, I truly believe that Mary is the most incredible mother on the entire planet. She has sacrificed more for Alice than the majority of people will ever know or understand. But what’s important to realize is that there is so much more to Mary than just her incredible skills as a mother. 

Mary has an unfailing loyalty to family. Without her, I would not be as close to my relatives who live out of state. She is a driving force behind the planning of our family reunions, always making sure that the only thing separating the bond between us all is a few extra miles on a map.

Family reunion in Myrtle Beach 2011
Family reunion in Myrtle Beach 2011

Mary is also the reason why cheerleading is such an instrumental part of my life. As I grew up, I watched her make up choreography in our backyard, had her as my coach when I was just a little girl, and admired her unbridled passion each and every time she performed. I now go to Mary for advice about my own team that I coach and trust her input above all else. I wouldn’t be who I am today without the influences and impact that Mary has had on me.

Mary supporting me at my first competition as a coach!
Mary supporting me at my first competition as a coach!

Emily is my twin sister and honest to God, my better half. Being a twin is the most secure feeling in the world. Emily knows what I’m feeling and thinking before I do, never hesitates to knock me in the head with good ol’ common sense and reassure me that if I just chill out for a second (easier said than done), everything will take the course it’s supposed to.

My number one fan
Can you tell we’re fraternal?

On our most recent birthday, I wrote a post dedicated entirely to Em. As i’m sure most of you reading this who have siblings understand, it’s nearly impossible to encapsulate your family relationships into words. My birthday post to her gets pretty close, though. I encourage you to take a walk down memory lane with me. Emily is one tough betch, I’ll tell ya that much. I grow into a better person each and every day because of what I learn as I admire my beautiful twin sister.

Emily (left) and myself

The older I get, the more I respect and admire the absolute hell out of my sisters. They are beautiful on the inside and out, each have their own strengths and weaknesses, and will fight until their dying day to do what’s best for our family. We pick each other back up after we fall, kick each other in the ass (sometimes quite literally) when we need it, always forgive, and love without casting judgement.

I may live the rest of my life with an irreversible sadness that my brother left me too soon, but I’m also going to live the rest of my life knowing that I have two sisters who I am proud to call my friends. That is something I’ll make sure they know without a shadow of a doubt until my dying day. Love you hooligans.

Just us girls ❤