Logic vs. Intuition

Logic and intuition are funny elements of our daily lives.

Sometimes they go hand in hand and complement one another. Like when you feel something in your gut and your brain says, “yes! this makes sense, follow along.”

Other times, they battle. Your head says one thing and your heart says another. They may both make fair points and have their own rationale, but they just disagree on the matter.

That’s the place I’ve been in lately. My head and my heart have been battling.

My head was saying, “You’re a great cheerleading coach. You add value to the program. You’re talented. You’ve been doing this forever. You’re making a positive difference in your community and with your athletes.”

My heart was saying, “Slow down. Your family needs you more. You’re too spread thin. You deserve to give yourself just as much love as you constantly pour out to others.”

Neither is wrong. They can both be right. There can be space to hold all of it inside of you.

But what do you do? How do you decide?

For me, I have to get really quiet. I have to close my eyes, take a deep breath, and filter away the noise. I have to remove myself from the tug of war.

And then I have to trust my heart.

It’s always guided me in the right direction. It’s never led me astray, even if it didn’t make sense in the moment.

So in this case, my heart won.

I chose to slow down.

It didn’t make the decision any easier. It didn’t stop the tears from flowing. And it doesn’t remove some of the doubt that still creeps in.

But it does give me inner peace.

And these days, that’s worth it.

Something old

2018 was one of the more ‘solid’ years i’ve had in awhile. It of course had its ups and downs, but it was a year that had me feeling like, well, me. I felt in my own skin more than not, and that was a feeling I want to continue to nourish.

I started a new job at my old company, Creative Circle, and am on a great path with my career. I’m surrounded by people who are creative, smart, kind, and who make me want to do better work each day.

This year I also continued to have the privilege of coaching my old high school cheerleading team. It’s the most challenging job i’ve ever had, but it is easily the most rewarding. I love those girls to pieces and I love watching them grow, both as athletes and as people.

In the past year, a fire has started to burn inside of them. They know they can compete against other incredible teams and hold their own. They know they can go out there and show people how talented and capable they are.

And even though working with a group of teenagers can be tough, it’s pushed me to continue to develop myself as a coach and as a person. I’ve certainly had my own ups and downs, but I know without a shadow of a doubt that I am a better person because of my experience as a coach. It pushes me to my brink and challenges me to my core, but it brings out so much passion in me that each day i’m overwhelmingly grateful to have this specific opportunity with the old program that raised me.

Most important of all, I spent a lot of time this year with the same friends and family who i’ve had in my corner for too many years to count. My boyfriend and I have now been together for a solid three years, and the foundation we’ve built in that time is more fulfilling than anything i’ve ever known.

I’ve been proactive in spending quality “gal pal” time with some of the most genuine friends I could have ever asked for. My family continues to find ways to be grateful for one another and the life we’ve been given no matter what the circumstances are. We have each others backs and always say “I love you” to one another… what more could I ask for?

So at a time where many are focused on being a “new” version of themselves, or adding “new” goals onto their plates, perhaps it’s just as important that we focus on the old… the familiar.

Let’s be honest about our expectations for ourself, stay close to what already feels good, get rid of what doesn’t serve us, and remember that sometimes finding the best version of yourself doesn’t require you to add on “new” things, it just requires you to look deep inside at what’s been there all along.

xo