life lessons

In the books 

by Katie Welker

It’s almost 11am and I’m still lying in bed, which is a sure sign that yesterday was Thanksgiving. 

As many of us stop to reflect during the holidays, it’s no secret when I say that this is a time for gratitude, joy and happiness. But if you’re like me and millions of others, they can also bring a daunting reminder of the loved ones we’ve lost who aren’t here with us. 

You think of the empty chair they should be sitting in. You think of the leftovers they should be eating for you and taking home. You think of the extra laugh in the room that’s missing. You think of the absence. 

Maybe feeling that absence so strongly and vividly is a part of growing up – where you become acutely aware of how things change with the passing of time. It seems to be an inevitable growing pain that hits hardest on the holidays. 

But that growth also gives us the wisdom to take each moment for granted just like we should. To take those valuable old memories and weave them into something new. To intertwine the past with the present so that the two halves make a new whole, no matter how bittersweet it can be. 

And once you embrace the change, all of the sudden you realize you got through another important day without the ones you miss most. More so, you actually enjoyed yourself and did make new memories. 

And just like that, you’ve put another holiday in the books.

Just like that, you’re still breathing in and out. 

Just like that, you’re okay. 


What they don’t tell you

by Katie Welker

I have been dating the love of my life a little less than a year, though we’ve known each other and have been close friends for over ten.

One of my best girlfriends often jokes and says, “you’re finally dating your husband!” He has the loveliest heart, the kindest soul, and my love for him only grows each day…. and with each mile.

Matt and I have been dating long distance (616 miles to be exact) the entire duration of our relationship. Although there are certainly couples who have more time and distance under their belts, the separation has the same sting to it regardless of the specifics.

With my return home to Rochester right around the corner (and the end to the miles apart from both my entire family and Matt) I’ve been reflecting on all the things they don’t tell you about long distance relationships that you’re forced to learn as you go…

They don’t tell you that movie night means watching the same movie at the same time using an online link that freezes and stalls once every 20 minutes. It means texting in between scenes instead of lounging together on the couch in your sweatpants.

They don’t tell you that life is a series of mini countdowns until the next time you can see each other, and that having a visit to look forward to is one of the only things that keeps you sane.

They don’t tell you that birthdays and holidays mean coordinating around the few weekends you’re actually able to visit, and making sure you have room in your suitcase to pack the gifts.

They don’t tell you that long distance means coming home from a long hard day and having to FaceTime instead of getting the bear hug that you really need.

It means flight delays, crammed weekends seeing two families in three days, having to plan trips months in advance, paying more for flights than you do for your rent, missing big events in addition to the daily errands that keep a relationship glued together, and countless other inconveniences that all add up to a terrible heartache from being away from the one you love, not to mention a mountain of stress.

But here’s what else they don’t tell you.

That for the right person, distance really does make the heart grow fonder. It really does make you stronger, make you appreciate your partner more, hold them tighter and love them harder.

What they don’t tell you is that it’s better to be far apart than not together at all.

And most importantly, they don’t tell you that for the right person, the juice really is worth the squeeze. And it sure tastes sweet once it finally hits your lips.

my love