Gratitude

Goodbye, blinders

by Katie Welker

After seven months of living in Chicago (wait, how has it already been seven months?!) I’m just now starting to realize that my life is, and will remain to be, completely different than what it was when I lived in Buffalo.

Why that took me seven months is beyond me, but some light bulb moments have been going off lately that are opening my eyes in a big way.

Whenever anyone asks me why I moved, the answer is always the same – I moved for a gut feeling that I just had to listen to.

That’s 100% true. And then I was fortunate to serendipitously find a career that I absolutely adore.

But after seven months, I now know that things in Chicago are completely different than they were in Buffalo in every way.

The blinders are off, and now the reality of these facts is hitting me hard:

  • I have no family in Chicago, and none of my friends that I’ve had in my life up until this point are here, either (thank goodness for the friends I’ve made here thus far. Honestly, they’re dear to my heart for so many reasons.)
  • I don’t have the benefits and access of living in the same city where I went to school (I would have given anything to go to a Canisius College basketball game this season #gogriffs.)
  • My lifestyle here (primarily the long commute to work and not having a car anymore) limits my ability to wear multiple “hats” and invest my time in a variety of outlets like before – i.e. coaching cheerleading, volunteering, being an active member of different young professional groups, etc.

But then I have to stop and cut myself a freaken break already.

I was in Buffalo for SEVEN YEARS. And I’ve been in Chicago for SEVEN MONTHS (caps completely necessary.)

These things will take time.

But until then, the best thing I can do is continue to adapt to my new setting. And scheduling time with and for myself is the best way I’ve been able to do that.

Here are the two things I’ve taken immediate action on:

  • Prioritizing what makes me happy
    • Given the struggles of limited “free time” due to longer commutes, it’s important that I find convenient and efficient ways to accommodate the things that make me happy, like writing. So I bought a small 2lb tablet with an attachable keyboard that I can now take with me everywhere I go. This gives me the convenience to write whenever and wherever I want, which is exactly what i’m doing right now at a local coffee shop. Having that access is crucial for me.
  • Know when I need help, and then ask for it
    • I’m a major proponent of taking care of my mental health. I’ve gone to a counselor a number of times for a number of reasons throughout my life, and picking up my life and moving hundreds of miles away from everyone I love was a perfect reason for me to seek one out yet again. I now see someone a few times a month in order to help sort out my anxiety, stress, fears, and more importantly, my goals. It has been a great help, and it’s a commitment to my well-being that I plan on keeping for a long time to come.

Moving from Buffalo to Chicago is a change that threw my whole world for a loop in ways I didn’t even realize until months later. And now that the blinders are off, it’s been imperative for me to ask myself some tough questions, take a hard look at my immediate surroundings and then take action in order to make the most of this new chapter.

But I figure that if I can create a life I love in Buffalo, I can certainly do the same thing in Chicago.

Like anything else that’s worthwhile, it will just take time, patience, and a lot of love.

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Lifetime resolution 

by Katie Welker

With less than one day left in 2015, there are countless articles and stories that read, “how to make 2016 the best year ever!” or “this is your year – here’s how to stick to your goals for real!” and other click-bait types of titles. ‘Tis the season, I suppose.

And while there is absolutely nothing wrong with using a new year to set intentions with a new perspective, what if we looked at New Year’s resolutions differently? What if we looked at them not just in terms of a year, but in terms of a lifetime? 

Some would argue that lifetime resolutions aren’t timely enough to take action on, but hear me out.

It’s actually a fairly simple concept: this year, similar to years past and certainly all moving forward, my resolution is to make my life one worth living. 

I told you it was simple.

There’s no catch 22, no secret recipe, and no 30-day check in. I don’t have a master plan that’s all mapped out. I don’t have a grand scheme of how to accomplish it. But what I do have is a clear understanding that not only is this the only life I have control of, but I also have no clue when it will end. None of us do. 

So that means today, tomorrow and so forth, I’m going to continue to make each day worth living. Of course that’s easier said than done. There will be days I’ll wake up feeling like garbage, think my hair looks hideous, won’t have as much motivation as I’d like, or a curveball will hit me that I probably won’t be ready for. 

But I’ll do my best anyways. 

Because what if that day I was sick or the day I had no motivation ended up being the last day of my life? What if I didn’t get a chance to see another new year come in? Those are scary questions, but they’re not ones we should be afraid to ask ourselves. 

Because the longer we live and the more years we add to our lives, the more we can really hone in on who we are, who we want to surround ourselves with, and what it is we want out of life. We can more clearly understand what it takes to create a happy life that we’re proud of. 

And that’s why my resolution isn’t just for 2016, but it’s for all of the unknown years ahead: live a life i’m proud of, course correct as needed and constantly adapt to the world around me, all while trying to keep my core values and morals in check. It’s ambitious. But in my eyes, it’s not just a resolution for the new year, but a resolution for a lifetime.