Lifetime resolution 

With less than one day left in 2015, there are countless articles and stories that read, “how to make 2016 the best year ever!” or “this is your year – here’s how to stick to your goals for real!” and other click-bait types of titles. ‘Tis the season, I suppose.

And while there is absolutely nothing wrong with using a new year to set intentions with a new perspective, what if we looked at New Year’s resolutions differently? What if we looked at them not just in terms of a year, but in terms of a lifetime? 

Some would argue that lifetime resolutions aren’t timely enough to take action on, but hear me out.

It’s actually a fairly simple concept: this year, similar to years past and certainly all moving forward, my resolution is to make my life one worth living. 

I told you it was simple.

There’s no catch 22, no secret recipe, and no 30-day check in. I don’t have a master plan that’s all mapped out. I don’t have a grand scheme of how to accomplish it. But what I do have is a clear understanding that not only is this the only life I have control of, but I also have no clue when it will end. None of us do. 

So that means today, tomorrow and so forth, I’m going to continue to make each day worth living. Of course that’s easier said than done. There will be days I’ll wake up feeling like garbage, think my hair looks hideous, won’t have as much motivation as I’d like, or a curveball will hit me that I probably won’t be ready for. 

But I’ll do my best anyways. 

Because what if that day I was sick or the day I had no motivation ended up being the last day of my life? What if I didn’t get a chance to see another new year come in? Those are scary questions, but they’re not ones we should be afraid to ask ourselves. 

Because the longer we live and the more years we add to our lives, the more we can really hone in on who we are, who we want to surround ourselves with, and what it is we want out of life. We can more clearly understand what it takes to create a happy life that we’re proud of. 

And that’s why my resolution isn’t just for 2016, but it’s for all of the unknown years ahead: live a life i’m proud of, course correct as needed and constantly adapt to the world around me, all while trying to keep my core values and morals in check. It’s ambitious. But in my eyes, it’s not just a resolution for the new year, but a resolution for a lifetime. 


To my graduating Griffs

Canisius College, your comfort zone, source of friendship, bubble of forgivable mistakes and the home that fostered your growth and becoming is now taking a back seat. It’s nerve-wrecking, intimidating and at times emotionally draining. But above all else, graduation comes at a time that whether you realize it or not, needs to happen. And you’ll be glad it did.

Maybe you’ll have a job waiting for you, will volunteer for a year or move into a new apartment with old college buddies. Maybe you won’t.

It doesn’t matter. Because no matter what you do after you briskly walk across that graduation stage (and hopefully don’t lose a shoe), I can almost guarantee you that the following things will happen in the next year. And if they don’t, you should probably learn to live a little.

You’re going to fall in love with yourself. Maybe all over again if you’re already fond of the person you’re becoming. You’ll look back and realize that you made it this far and that’s a hell of a lot to be proud of. You’ll find pride in taking care of your body and want to eat healthy and stay in shape and it won’t feel like such a hassle. If you’re smart, you will stop comparing yourself to others. Embrace all of the wonderful things that make you different than the people who will sit beside you in identical caps and gowns. Those little quirks are what make you beautiful. To quote Dr. Suess, ‘There is no one alive who is Youer than You.’

You’ll make a total and complete fool of yourself (on many occasions). Good. Do it now. You have a nice little grace period where people will still forgive you for your mistakes because you’re young and naive. Whether your mistakes happen at work, with friends or with those you have a romantic interest in, trust me when I tell you that they are an absolute guarantee. Take advantage of it. They’ll be laughable later on.

You’ll spend money you know you shouldn’t. And while most people may disagree with me on this one, I hope you do spend enough to make you somewhat uncomfortable. One of my favorite quotes is, ‘spend your money because you can’t take it with you.’ I’ll give you three guesses as to how much I have in my savings account, but you’ll probably only need one. Don’t say “no” to crazy opportunities and misguided adventures just because you’re too scared not to have a little financial cushion. If it means you survive off of macaroni and cheese for three weeks, so be it. You did it in college, didn’t you? The laughs you’ll share with friends and memories you’ll make will be worth it. I freaken promise you.

You will get frustrated with your job (or lack thereof.) Join the club. If you don’t have a job, keep looking. More importantly, keep networking. It pays off. If you do have a job, here are some facts: you have to earn your place and it often comes through long hours, work that you’re over-qualified for and a lot of tongue-biting to make people happy. But give it time. Because that initial job description is not set it stone. Be a go-getter. Shoot out a new idea. Your colleagues don’t like it? At least you tried. And if nothing else, use the position you have to leverage new connections and networking opportunities. There are possibilities everywhere, you just have to fight to see them sometimes.

You will likely question everything you stood for and believed in while in college: Let the uncertainty shake you up. If the questions and exploration of thought brings you back to the place you once were, then you are one consistent individual. If you end up somewhere new, embrace it.

Your group of friends will change. If this one makes you sad, then put in the effort to keep valued friends in your life. Catch up for lunch, call them, email them, or my personal favorite, send them an unexpected card. But here’s one thing to remember: don’t spend too much time mourning over the loss of those that will inevitably fade out of your life. If they taught you something about yourself or the world around you, take that as a positive reason for their path crossing yours and be at peace with it. Some people are just meant to remain a memory.

You will be astonished at how time continues to fly. It doesn’t slow down. The sooner you accept this and come to terms with it, the more you’ll learn to appreciate life for each beautiful moment you’re granted rather than all of the ones you no longer have control of.

Graduating college is a milestone in your life but don’t let it scare you. Find comfort in the fact that no matter where your next path leads you, you can always come back to Canisius and the fond memories that your education has privileged you with. The open arms waiting behind the doors of buildings that turned into second homes will always be available should you need them.

Commencent Ceremony
Canisius College Undergraduate Commencent Ceremony 2012