Tests from the Universe

Once I decided to step away from coaching cheerleading, the Universe began to test me.

There was a period of time in between making that decision for myself, and being able to communicate that decision to everyone. It was mostly because of protocol and processes that had to be followed, but that gap of time felt like a lifetime to me.

It felt like I was constantly being poked and prodded, as if the Universe was naggingly saying, “are you sure? are you sure? are you sure?”

Until eventually, I started to doubt myself and my decision. I started wondering, “well jeez, am I sure?!”

It was brutal, and mentally and physically exhausting.

I played the “what if” game a lot, called my mindset coach crying while I was in the middle of a Kohl’s store returning some boots (this was quite the sight), and cried to my husband while trying to sort out the mess in my mind.

But then I had to come back to me and the core of who I am and where I made my decision from in the first place.

At my core, I know i’m confident, steady, energetic, and do my best to operate from a place of inclusiveness and faith. And looking back, I know that I made my decision from that place. I didn’t make it from stress, pressure or fear.

I made it from a peaceful, trusting place.

I made it from a desire to slow down and to grow. So of course those growing pains had to come along for part of the ride.

But here’s the thing. I truly believe that when the Universe tests you in this way, you have two choices: stick with the comfortable and the familiar, or move forward in faith and trust the unknown.

There’s absolutely nothing wrong with sticking with what’s familiar – it’s comfortable for a reason. It’s secure. It’s safe. It’s good.

But I’m at a place where I don’t want good. I want great.

And if I have to walk with blind faith into the unknown in order to see what greatness lies ahead of me, then so be it.

I’m ready.


Logic vs. Intuition

Logic and intuition are funny elements of our daily lives.

Sometimes they go hand in hand and complement one another. Like when you feel something in your gut and your brain says, “yes! this makes sense, follow along.”

Other times, they battle. Your head says one thing and your heart says another. They may both make fair points and have their own rationale, but they just disagree on the matter.

That’s the place I’ve been in lately. My head and my heart have been battling.

My head was saying, “You’re a great cheerleading coach. You add value to the program. You’re talented. You’ve been doing this forever. You’re making a positive difference in your community and with your athletes.”

My heart was saying, “Slow down. Your family needs you more. You’re too spread thin. You deserve to give yourself just as much love as you constantly pour out to others.”

Neither is wrong. They can both be right. There can be space to hold all of it inside of you.

But what do you do? How do you decide?

For me, I have to get really quiet. I have to close my eyes, take a deep breath, and filter away the noise. I have to remove myself from the tug of war.

And then I have to trust my heart.

It’s always guided me in the right direction. It’s never led me astray, even if it didn’t make sense in the moment.

So in this case, my heart won.

I chose to slow down.

It didn’t make the decision any easier. It didn’t stop the tears from flowing. And it doesn’t remove some of the doubt that still creeps in.

But it does give me inner peace.

And these days, that’s worth it.