Author: Katie Welker

Planning ahead

by Katie Welker

Given the number of curveballs i’ve endured over the past 26 years, I should really have a much better understanding that despite all good intentions, 99% of the time life simply does not go the way you planned.

Yet here I am, planning.

And more so than that, i’m trying to understand the difference between planning for things that you can generally control, and planning for things that are still very much a work in progress.

On the one hand, i’m planning for an upcoming trip to Austin, Texas to attend the SXSW Interactive Festival on behalf of my company – Creative Circle. I’ve been wanting to attend SXSW for years and I’m ecstatic to finally have the opportunity to go. So for this, i’m planning: the sessions I want to attend, dinners I want to go to with colleagues, a visit to one of my client’s office because in addition to Chicago they also have a presence in Austin. I’m researching, i’m learning, and i’m planning.

On the other hand, I’m in an absolutely wonderful and fulfilling relationship with the best guy I could ever ask to have by my side. But I live in Chicago, and he lives in New York. We’re planning on him moving here sometime this summer. However, there’s a lot to think about and take in when it comes to such a major change. It will be a new chapter of our relationship in a city that i’ve only been in for seven months, and one that will be new to him, as well.

Planning for that major change has been overwhelming. And not in a bad way, but in a “big picture, big questions” kind of way – summer is our ballpark timeframe, but does that mean June, July, August? What if his job situation doesn’t pan out the way we hope it does? What if he hates it here? What’s our next step once he’s finally here? How long does this chapter last for us?

There are so many questions that, at least right now, are nothing more than hypotheticals. So in essence, we really can’t do much planning at the moment. More details have to fall into place, more time needs to pass, more patience needs to be practiced.

Yet the same question has continued to circle my mind time and time again – how soon is too soon to start planning?

Of course when it comes to financial planning, health and fitness goals, etc. it makes sense to get as much of a head start as possible. But in terms of everyday living, it feels to me that it’s more important to make a firm decision about what it is you want, and then put faith and trust into that decision until it’s close enough to plan and then take action on.

Sure, you can map things out, research, learn, and schedule until you have every minute of your life lined up. But at the end of the day, life generally has more plans in store for you than you have in store for yourself.

So go ahead and make a goal, and then take steps to get yourself there in the timeframe you allotted. Just do it knowing that the road to get there will more than likely come with a different set of detours than you could have ever imagined possible.

Plans change every single day. But that’s the fun of it, don’t you think?

Of the essence

by Katie Welker

Two years have gone by since my brother passed away.

Two years since I got that phone call.

Two years since I wrote his obituary.

Two years since I read his eulogy.

Two years.

I know as the years continue to pass i’ll say, “wow – I can’t believe it’s been 5 years!” and, “wow – I can’t believe it’s been 10 years!” I’ll always be in a state of disbelief.

I can say with a fair amount of certainty that we have all lost someone dear to us. And it’s tough to tell how you’ll feel when a day like this sneaks up on you. Because there was such a strong unpredictability about how today would feel for me, I decided to plan ahead and give myself one simple thing: time.

Time off of work for one day. Time to perhaps organize my apartment, go to a yoga class, spend time with one of my most uplifting girlfriends, call my twin sister, check in on my family… just a little extra time.

Because one thing I realized is that time is a luxury we rarely ever have when we want it the most.

I don’t have the luxury of time to go back to my brother and have the million conversations that I wish I could. I don’t have time to hug him once more or tell him I love him. I don’t have time to argue with him over whether or not to keep Taylor Swift on the radio, or whose team is going to win the football game.

In the relationship between my brother and myself, I am completely and utterly out of time.

That is a heartbreaking reality that two years later i’m still learning how to both manage and adapt to.

Yet on the positive flip side – because I always fight to find one – I’m now acutely aware of this luxury of time, and day by day am trying to take advantage of the brutal lessons i’ve learned through the loss of my brother.

I’m trying to make the most of the time I have with those who I still have it with.

Whether that means taking extra vacation time to see my family over the holidays, or finally – after 10 years of friendship – having the courage to commit to a relationship with the man of my dreams, I’m giving life every ounce of effort I have left in this battered yet beating heart of mine.

It’s no secret that every day comes with a struggle and a challenge- for all of us. But it also comes with the opportunity to make the most of our time and the love we have for life and those we’re fortunate enough to share it with.

Life without my brother will never get easier. But the lessons i’ve learned from his loss will help me to make this life as beautiful as humanly possible.

I promise you that time is a luxury I will never, ever take for granted. And I hope you don’t either.

So now, how will you make the most of the time you have?

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