Nothin’ but a number?

Recently, and by recently I mean in the last year and a half, I have found myself mixed into a different crowd of people than in the past. Gone are the days where everyone in my circle of friends is only a few months apart in age. I like it that way. People of various ages, backgrounds and experiences all have something inherently different to bring to the table.

I have always been dismissive of a difference in age, chanting and preaching along with the tune of Aaliyah’s “Age Ain’t Nothing But a Number.”

Yet lately I can’t help but wonder, does compatibility between two people depend on how many candles are on your birthday cake? 

Maybe it’s not so much the candle count as it is situational circumstances, how many experiences you can chalk up as a win or loss on your slate of life-altering occurrences. Compatibility often boils down to the way in which you’ve dedicated yourself to learning the valuable lessons from this crazy beautiful experience called life. It just so happens that the lessons one has acquired is more often than not a fairly accurate reflection of age.

Age may technically be nothing but a number, but when that double digit bears the weight of the events which have shaped your beliefs and have also dictated the finesse in which you handle challenges that come your way, then I’d say it’s much more than a number.

It can be the difference between friends and enemies, acquaintances and best friends, and more often than not, genuine compatibility versus a well thought out day dream.

But what do I know, I’ll only have 24 candles on my cake next month.

What chapstick taught me

chapstick

Disclaimer: there is a point to this post, I swear.

Earlier today at work I was looking for my pomegranate flavored Burt’s Bees chapstick. I thought it was in my purse but after looking, I couldn’t seem to find it. I moved on to look in my bag with my work materials in it. Nope. It wasn’t there, either. My pockets were empty so I knew I must have left it somewhere back at my apartment. It was only one o’clock in the afternoon and I knew I’d survive without it, but I didn’t want to wait until I got home after 7 p.m. to finally use my Burt’s Bees.

Frustrated, I sat down and went back to work. Not even two minutes later I looked down at my keyboard and realized I had a stick of Softlips chapstick sitting right there, literally less than two inches from my fingertips. I laughed out loud. I spent almost five minutes searching for my specific pomegranate Burt’s Bees that I was completely oblivious to the fact that I had a perfectly good alternative right in front of me.

So often in life we search for things that we think we need or think we want. We are hell-bent on the fact that these images we have created in our heads — of people, jobs, friends, whatever it may be — is what’s best for us, that it is the only option for our ideal happiness.

I am a big fan of working hard for what I want and an even bigger fan of never settling for less than I deserve and desire. But sometimes it’s necessary to be humbled by the stable and predictable parts of our day that rarely waiver. It can be okay to accept your second choice sometimes.

Maybe what you find isn’t exactly what you were looking for, but sometimes it turns out to be just what you need.

Dalai_Lama