The flip side

I’m sitting on top of my kitchen countertop typing and am in awe that i’ve been living in Chicago for two months now. And as if my life were the movie I always claimed it should be, “Vienna” by Billy Joel just came up on shuffle. If you’re unfamiliar with this song, give it a listen below. It’s my all-time favorite, and applicable to the scene i’m setting right now.

And as I take a moment to “slow down,” my mind immediately hits a state of exhaustion. In the last eight weeks i’ve jumped head first into a brand new career, introduced myself to strangers who are now friends, found the Bills bar where I can shout like a lunatic on Sundays, and (obviously) found my donut, ice cream, and macaroon shops of choice, among many other great little discoveries.

There’s always a flip side to the perks, though.

Packing up my life into a U-Haul brought with it a set of growing pains that I didn’t anticipate. I cried like a baby when I missed my niece’s 7th birthday, am no longer an hour drive away from my mom and sisters, and have yet to figure out how to keep my hometown relationships strong despite the distance. Honestly, it can be quite a bitch.

But that doesn’t mean my decision wasn’t worth it.

Because at the end of the day, there’s always going to be a flip side. There will always be a decision you left behind.

But i’ll tell ya what, in the past two months i’ve come to find that the best way to make peace with your decisions is to give them the full shot they deserve. Ride through the uncertainties, the questions, the doubts, and most importantly, the fears. Because once you can stand on the other side and say you’ve tackled those obstacles, you’ll be at peace no matter what you’ve decided.

With or without

Earlier this morning I had a conversation with a new friend who I met at an outdoor zumba class in Millenium Park. She mentioned an ex-fiance, and the curiosity in me blurted out, “ex? what happened?”

Her answer was simple: “I was moving away for grad school and realized I didn’t want him to come with me.”

It hit me like a ton of bricks.

Just a few days ago I packed up my entire life and moved from Buffalo to Chicago. One of the most brutal parts was that I realized not everyone who I knew and spent time with would make this transition with me. And there’s nothing wrong with that, but it’s an inevitable truth that can be difficult to accept.

So who comes with you? Who do you simply carry in your heart, and who do you make the effort to keep a strong relationship with? Because let’s be honest, some people are only meant to be in your life for a short period of time, and that’s okay. But others… oh, others are meant for a lifetime.

For me the answer was simple: I thought about who I missed the most as soon as I pulled out of my driveway a few days ago. And then I thought about who was consistently on my mind throughout the day.

That changed my convoluted doubts into peaceful reassurance. The tricky part, however, is this: what are you going to do to ensure those people are a permanent part of your journey?

Your actions will make all the difference.