Friends and Family

I drafted a post about my birthday a few days ago — I documented the struggles, triumphs and lessons I have learned during my 23rd year on this crazy earth. It was a sentimental post per usual, but it didn’t hit home the way that I wanted it to.

In case you lovely guys and gals reading this out there were unaware, I’m a twin. And my sister Emily is my absolute best friend in the entire world. And no, we are not identical; we’re actually polar opposites. So while I’ve mentioned her in posts before, this birthday rant is a straight shot down memory lane. Enjoy my peanut-shaped head and awkward bangs…

Back in the baby days. My Dad made those cradles. He’s a BAMF.

Emily and I were born on our exact due date, and while this may be a little too much information, she kicked me out of the womb. I’m serious. I was born first and then Emily came out feet first right after me. I blame her for my lack of patience. I wasn’t ready for the world but there she was, legitimately kicking me in the ass. Not much has changed in that respect; she’s still pushing my buttons and testing my patience.

Talk to the hand! — Always driving me nuts.

Contrary to popular belief, I was extremely shy when I was little. I hid behind her as she introduced me to other kids and I was as quiet as a mouse. She has acted as my safety net since day one. I don’t know how I would have survived those awkward years without her. She’s the sole reason why I try to be extroverted and personable. I learned everything I know from watching Emily and admiring her confidence.

You think I’m wild? You should hang out with Em for a day. She’s reckless, care-free and off the cuff like no other. Emily has six tattoos (that I know of), one of them is a four leaf clover (we’re Irish, check out the freckles) on her wrist that says “twins.” It also has our date of birth underneath the clover. I asked Em why she included that in the tattoo and her response was, “just in case if you die first, I can put your death date underneath.” Yeah. She’s a little morbid. Yet somehow she manages to be the most selfless person on the planet, putting herself last every single time. I couldn’t be as humble and caring as her if I tried. Her compassion is unmatched.

twins_NYE — Check out those tats she’s rockin.

Twin telepathy is real. Although Emily and I have a different take of what it means. Em is convinced that “twin telepathy” means that if she opens her mouth to burp and I let one out a half of a second before her, we’re “connected” like no other. She sucks. Our connection was never more obvious than back in the summer of 2006.

I was away in Italy and Emily was home in Rochester. Her and my older sister got into a car accident. Emily reached for her seat belt that she wasn’t wearing (shame on her) as my sister’s car and another were about to collide. Having her arm crossed over her body saved her life by a split second as her head hit the windshield. At the exact time that happened, I was making the sign of the cross as an ambulance drove by while I toured a city in Italy. I had “Jesus Take The Wheel” by Carrie Underwood playing on repeat for no other reason other than I felt like I had to listen to it all day. My intuitions and gut feelings about what’s going on with Emily are always dead on. We didn’t piece the story together until I talked to my family later that night. The timing and connection of it all is eerie, but I wouldn’t trade it for the world.

photo_7 — Back in my dad’s old truck. Cute hair ribbon, right?

She is strong when I am weak (both physically and emotionally.) She’s the rational one when I call her sobbing over a heartache or stressed about my career. She humbles me and keeps me in check with reality. She is just everything. Everything I could ever want in a sister, a friend, a buddy to hang out with, you name it she is it.

Struggle city. She's the strong one. — Struggle city. She’s the strong one.

Emily is legitimately the one person who not only knows me better than I know myself, but also the one who tolerates my mood swings and emotional episodes. The stories we have acquired (both heartwarming and hilarious,) the laughs we have shared and the relationship we have effortlessly built since before we even knew what the world looked like is something I wish I could more adequately convey in a little blog post. I guess it’s telling of how special my relationship with her is, though. We can’t describe it. We feel it. We know it. We believe in it. And life would not be nearly as meaningful without it.

photo_5 — I’ve been rocking the hand-on-hip pose since childhood. Emily has been a goofball since day one. Typical.

twins_wakeup — We look really cute in the morning. Sike.

I always like other people’s birthdays more than my own. Perhaps it’s because I’ve had to share my birthday my whole life and don’t know any different. It doesn’t ever upset me, though. Because there should be at least one day a year where my twin sister is celebrated. Today is that day.

So happy birthday, Em. I love you more than you’ll ever know. Your presence and role in my life has changed me in ways I know you’ll never understand. I’m choked up just writing this. You are my better (crazier) half and the one person on the planet who I just could not picture being without. No words could ever encompass my admiration and appreciation for you. Here’s to many more years of tossing green olives in each other’s mouths until the jar is empty, painting the town red, arguing over absolutely nothing and laughing until we cry tears of joy.

Love you, pretty twin. Sana saiiii!

** Side note: this is also my 100th post! So if your eyes are following these (often rambling) string of words I construct time and time again, thank you! I appreciate the readership more than any of you could know.

Canisius College, your comfort zone, source of friendship, bubble of forgivable mistakes and the home that fostered your growth and becoming is now taking a back seat. It’s nerve-wrecking, intimidating and at times emotionally draining. But above all else, graduation comes at a time that whether you realize it or not, needs to happen. And you’ll be glad it did.

Maybe you’ll have a job waiting for you, will volunteer for a year or move into a new apartment with old college buddies. Maybe you won’t.

It doesn’t matter. Because no matter what you do after you briskly walk across that graduation stage (and hopefully don’t lose a shoe), I can almost guarantee you that the following things will happen in the next year. And if they don’t, you should probably learn to live a little.

You’re going to fall in love with yourself. Maybe all over again if you’re already fond of the person you’re becoming. You’ll look back and realize that you made it this far and that’s a hell of a lot to be proud of. You’ll find pride in taking care of your body and want to eat healthy and stay in shape and it won’t feel like such a hassle. If you’re smart, you will stop comparing yourself to others. Embrace all of the wonderful things that make you different than the people who will sit beside you in identical caps and gowns. Those little quirks are what make you beautiful. To quote Dr. Suess, ‘There is no one alive who is Youer than You.’

You’ll make a total and complete fool of yourself (on many occasions). Good. Do it now. You have a nice little grace period where people will still forgive you for your mistakes because you’re young and naive. Whether your mistakes happen at work, with friends or with those you have a romantic interest in, trust me when I tell you that they are an absolute guarantee. Take advantage of it. They’ll be laughable later on.

You’ll spend money you know you shouldn’t. And while most people may disagree with me on this one, I hope you do spend enough to make you somewhat uncomfortable. One of my favorite quotes is, ‘spend your money because you can’t take it with you.’ I’ll give you three guesses as to how much I have in my savings account, but you’ll probably only need one. Don’t say “no” to crazy opportunities and misguided adventures just because you’re too scared not to have a little financial cushion. If it means you survive off of macaroni and cheese for three weeks, so be it. You did it in college, didn’t you? The laughs you’ll share with friends and memories you’ll make will be worth it. I freaken promise you.

You will get frustrated with your job (or lack thereof.) Join the club. If you don’t have a job, keep looking. More importantly, keep networking. It pays off. If you do have a job, here are some facts: you have to earn your place and it often comes through long hours, work that you’re over-qualified for and a lot of tongue-biting to make people happy. But give it time. Because that initial job description is not set it stone. Be a go-getter. Shoot out a new idea. Your colleagues don’t like it? At least you tried. And if nothing else, use the position you have to leverage new connections and networking opportunities. There are possibilities everywhere, you just have to fight to see them sometimes.

You will likely question everything you stood for and believed in while in college: Let the uncertainty shake you up. If the questions and exploration of thought brings you back to the place you once were, then you are one consistent individual. If you end up somewhere new, embrace it.

Your group of friends will change. If this one makes you sad, then put in the effort to keep valued friends in your life. Catch up for lunch, call them, email them, or my personal favorite, send them an unexpected card. But here’s one thing to remember: don’t spend too much time mourning over the loss of those that will inevitably fade out of your life. If they taught you something about yourself or the world around you, take that as a positive reason for their path crossing yours and be at peace with it. Some people are just meant to remain a memory.

You will be astonished at how time continues to fly. It doesn’t slow down. The sooner you accept this and come to terms with it, the more you’ll learn to appreciate life for each beautiful moment you’re granted rather than all of the ones you no longer have control of.

Graduating college is a milestone in your life but don’t let it scare you. Find comfort in the fact that no matter where your next path leads you, you can always come back to Canisius and the fond memories that your education has privileged you with. The open arms waiting behind the doors of buildings that turned into second homes will always be available should you need them.

Canisius College Undergraduate Commencent Ceremony 2012

Confidently Katie

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