Make it mutual

I made a mistake. I let some of my friendships slip through the cracks the past few years. I relied on history, the assumed certainty that those who have been there for me before would undoubtedly be there for me again should I need them. And while they likely would, that isn’t fair.

It isn’t fair to keep people in your life just for the moments that you need them.

It isn’t fair to rely on assumptions when dealing with the people that you love.

It isn’t fair to cheat yourself, and the other people involved, of your full attention when you’re together.

If you’re going to be lazy about the relationships — the human interactions that make up so much of who we are: our past, our present, and our uncertain, scary, and hopefully exquisite future — then what is it that you’re going to be wholeheartedly committed to?

My relationships — platonic, professional and romantic — have always been placed at the top of my priority list. Interacting with other passionate and caring individuals brings me the purest happiness that I have ever known. Relationships and stories and connections between people fuel me, intrigue me, and leave me completely captivated.

Multiple relationships of different sorts aren’t easy to maintain, though. They require frequent and honest communication, genuine interaction, tricky schedules and fluctuating emotions that often ride on different wave lengths.

But here’s [what I believe] is the key to any successful relationship, no matter the type: the desire and willingness to be together and grow in respected enjoyment must be mutual. Anything else is an injustice to your own happiness.

“Friendships don’t last for years, you have to invest in them.”

– Sex and the City

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Myself, Sam and Hannah

Share your joys

Some of my most memorable times have been the nights where I’m exhausted laying in bed thinking, “there’s no way i’m going out tonight” and then of course end up going out anyway. More so this past year and a half than ever before, I have found great reward in just saying “yes” even when I’m a little apprehensive. This weekend was one of those times.

One of my best girlfriends Alisha, who just so happens to be my former college cheerleading coach, got a new job. Celebrations were in order. I’m familiar with the group of friends she was going out with, but am not particularly close with any of them. It was also pouring rain outside. I went out with the mentality that if I wasn’t having fun I could always leave and go home. But who am I kidding, fun is what you bring with you. [Corny Katie.]

I ended up having such a blast: further developed new friendships, laughed until my stomach hurt and, of course, danced my big old heart out. Side note: I have an incredible amount of respect for a good DJ.

I’m a big advocate of taking time for reflection in your life, and that is not just limited to the difficult situations that inevitably happen, it goes for the fun experiences, too. This morning/afternoon was filled with reflection. Recapping the weekend with Alisha as we grabbed coffee and then laughing until I nearly cried at brunch with 12+ people who could barely form a cohesive sentence was nothing short of hilarious. As I left brunch and walked back to my apartment (in the beautiful sunshine which was honestly picture-perfect,) I could not help but feel overwhelmingly grateful for the balanced life that I have been blessed with.

Here’s what this weekend further confirmed for me:

New relationships take time to develop, but if genuine people come into your life who treat you with respect then you would be foolish to not invest the initial effort and energy to turn strangers into friends.

It’s so cliche’, but you really will not remember the time you spent sleeping away your weekends. I’m young. I’m a ball of energy. I’m exhausted during the week but I have never once looked back and thought, “wow I was so sleepy at my desk that week.” I think, “wow I had such a blast celebrating the accomplishments of my best friends.” Save the excessive sleep for when you’re dead.

If people want to bring negativity with them wherever they go, let them. You have to choose who you want to spend your efforts and energy on. I will never understand why, but some people just find joy in being malicious and deceitful. To hell with them. They’re not worth my time and I hope you are self-aware and confident enough to dismiss those people when they come into your life. Adios, suckers.

A balanced life is a beautiful life in my eyes. Before I went out dancing I spent six hours at a juice bar doing work and I’m currently at a coffee shop finishing up even more work. I finally got back on track with my volunteer work and I somehow found time to do a load of dishes. It’s not all fun, but it can most certainly all be worthwhile.

Don’t let your priorities slip through the cracks, but make sure you’re taking time for the people who bring happiness into your life. What good are the triumphs of your life if you have no one to celebrate them with? Life is better when your joys are shared.

Alisha and me celebrating her new job!
Alisha and me celebrating her new job!