To my graduating Griffs

Canisius College, your comfort zone, source of friendship, bubble of forgivable mistakes and the home that fostered your growth and becoming is now taking a back seat. It’s nerve-wrecking, intimidating and at times emotionally draining. But above all else, graduation comes at a time that whether you realize it or not, needs to happen. And you’ll be glad it did.

Maybe you’ll have a job waiting for you, will volunteer for a year or move into a new apartment with old college buddies. Maybe you won’t.

It doesn’t matter. Because no matter what you do after you briskly walk across that graduation stage (and hopefully don’t lose a shoe), I can almost guarantee you that the following things will happen in the next year. And if they don’t, you should probably learn to live a little.

You’re going to fall in love with yourself. Maybe all over again if you’re already fond of the person you’re becoming. You’ll look back and realize that you made it this far and that’s a hell of a lot to be proud of. You’ll find pride in taking care of your body and want to eat healthy and stay in shape and it won’t feel like such a hassle. If you’re smart, you will stop comparing yourself to others. Embrace all of the wonderful things that make you different than the people who will sit beside you in identical caps and gowns. Those little quirks are what make you beautiful. To quote Dr. Suess, ‘There is no one alive who is Youer than You.’

You’ll make a total and complete fool of yourself (on many occasions). Good. Do it now. You have a nice little grace period where people will still forgive you for your mistakes because you’re young and naive. Whether your mistakes happen at work, with friends or with those you have a romantic interest in, trust me when I tell you that they are an absolute guarantee. Take advantage of it. They’ll be laughable later on.

You’ll spend money you know you shouldn’t. And while most people may disagree with me on this one, I hope you do spend enough to make you somewhat uncomfortable. One of my favorite quotes is, ‘spend your money because you can’t take it with you.’ I’ll give you three guesses as to how much I have in my savings account, but you’ll probably only need one. Don’t say “no” to crazy opportunities and misguided adventures just because you’re too scared not to have a little financial cushion. If it means you survive off of macaroni and cheese for three weeks, so be it. You did it in college, didn’t you? The laughs you’ll share with friends and memories you’ll make will be worth it. I freaken promise you.

You will get frustrated with your job (or lack thereof.) Join the club. If you don’t have a job, keep looking. More importantly, keep networking. It pays off. If you do have a job, here are some facts: you have to earn your place and it often comes through long hours, work that you’re over-qualified for and a lot of tongue-biting to make people happy. But give it time. Because that initial job description is not set it stone. Be a go-getter. Shoot out a new idea. Your colleagues don’t like it? At least you tried. And if nothing else, use the position you have to leverage new connections and networking opportunities. There are possibilities everywhere, you just have to fight to see them sometimes.

You will likely question everything you stood for and believed in while in college: Let the uncertainty shake you up. If the questions and exploration of thought brings you back to the place you once were, then you are one consistent individual. If you end up somewhere new, embrace it.

Your group of friends will change. If this one makes you sad, then put in the effort to keep valued friends in your life. Catch up for lunch, call them, email them, or my personal favorite, send them an unexpected card. But here’s one thing to remember: don’t spend too much time mourning over the loss of those that will inevitably fade out of your life. If they taught you something about yourself or the world around you, take that as a positive reason for their path crossing yours and be at peace with it. Some people are just meant to remain a memory.

You will be astonished at how time continues to fly. It doesn’t slow down. The sooner you accept this and come to terms with it, the more you’ll learn to appreciate life for each beautiful moment you’re granted rather than all of the ones you no longer have control of.

Graduating college is a milestone in your life but don’t let it scare you. Find comfort in the fact that no matter where your next path leads you, you can always come back to Canisius and the fond memories that your education has privileged you with. The open arms waiting behind the doors of buildings that turned into second homes will always be available should you need them.

Commencent Ceremony
Canisius College Undergraduate Commencent Ceremony 2012

Stranded Monday mornings

It’s been a rough couple of weeks for my roommate (and best friend) Aly and I. We’re in the middle of moving to a new apartment and that decision alone has spiraled into a mess of chaotic events.

We were a mere 24 hours late putting in our 30-day notice saying that we did not want to continue our current lease. Due to that mistake, we got stuck paying rent for our current apartment as well as the down payment for our upcoming apartment. Needless to say it was a double whammy that hurt our fragile bank accounts.

Aly and I both eat really healthy (with the exception of ice cream, our current weakness) and are diligent about buying our own groceries. The sight of our fridge right now is a different story, though. We have a half of a red onion, an old artichoke, one hard boiled egg and a package of hot dogs that I stole out of my mom’s freezer when I was home for Mother’s Day. We legitimately had a discussion last night over who would use the last two pieces of bread for their lunch today. Aly won since I used the end pieces for toast on Saturday morning. Oh, life.

The events of this morning were just the cherry on top of a comical few weeks. Aly called me at about 7:20 and nonchalantly asked what I was doing. “I had a really bad nightmare last night so I’m still lying in bed with Rosie,” I told her (Rosie is my bear. I hate nightmares. Judge me.) I asked her what was wrong because she should have been at work by this time. She explained to me that she ran out of gas and was pulled over on the 90 with her flashers on.  “Do you know anyone with a gas can?” she asked. After brainstorming and failing to come up with other options (and somewhat-scolding her for driving with her gas light on), out the door I went.

Of course Delta Sonic was conveniently out of gas cans, so I kept driving down Main St. until I found Auto Zone. Little did I know that a piece of hollowed out plastic that only holds 1.25 gallons costs $15. I bought one, headed back to Delta Sonic and put a measly $5 of gas into the can and hit the road. I legitimately started laughing out loud when I got onto the loop for 90E and saw Aly’s Honda just chillin’ at the end of the lane with its flashers on. I pulled up behind her and continued to laugh as I realized that the door for her gas tank was conveniently on the same side as traffic. At least I’ll die helping my best friend, I thought.

The sight of the two of us trying to deal with this situation was nothing short of hysterical. It was freezing out, Aly didn’t wear a jacket and had wet hair because she showered late this morning, I looked like a lion right out of the cage because I had 2 minutes to get ready before I left to get her and we were both standing over a puny red plastic gas can trying to figure out how to get the gas into her car. It was a messy transfer, but we got it done. Aly broke out the hand sanitizer, I told her to not let this ruin her whole day and after hugging, we parted ways.

Just a typical Monday.

As frustrating and stressful as these past few weeks have been for us, we never let it get us down. Instead of spending our money going out, we used a promo code I had and rented a movie from Redbox for .76 cents, used a coupon I had to get a free container of ice cream and then turned our living room into a fort. We split the last four slices of bread, rescue each other off the side of the road and never fail to laugh every single day. That’s what best friends are for.

Dave Matthews said it best:

Hey my friend, it seems your eyes are troubled, care to share your time with me?
Would you say you’re feeling low and so a good idea would be to get it off your mind.

See you and me have a better time than most can dream, have it better than the best, so we can pull on through.
Whatever tears at us, whatever holds us down and if nothing can be done, we’ll make the best of what’s around.

Sometimes all you can do is look at a crummy situation, accept it for what it is and then laugh your way through it until things get better. And if you’re lucky like me, you have a best friend who will be laughing right there with you through all of the ups and downs.

Aly and me
“Turns out not where but who you’re with that really matters.”