Matters of the Heart

When you let [him] go

by Katie Welker
Staring at the bottom of your glass
Hoping one day you’ll make a dream last
But dreams come slow and they go so fast

I wore rose-colored glasses. He was a dream to me that I considered myself fortunate enough to have made a reality. He pushed my buttons, a necessary quality for me. He was smart and so unbelievably driven. Our families adored one another. At bottom, it was effortless. I really believe that we made each other better, at least for a short while. I could walk around without makeup, swear to my heart’s content and eat like a slob in front of him without being judged. He was my best friend and the love of my life. That is, until he wasn’t anymore.

Staring at the ceiling in the dark
Same old empty feeling in your heart
‘Cause love comes slow and it goes so fast

Things change when you let someone go. The rose-colored glasses shatter. The halo around their head disappears. The sarcastic remarks they made are no longer wrapped in good intentions and now come across as just plain rude. The caring that you have for them remains, but the way in which they complement your ambitions shifts.

Well you see her when you fall asleep
But never to touch and never to keep
‘Cause you loved her too much
And you dived too deep

Sometimes you have to remove yourself from someone’s life long enough to see who he or she, and you, are without one another. In due time, true colors always reveal themselves. Of course, your impression of a person is based on personal perception often dictated by experiences over time.

Yet time removed can open your eyes and allow you to step aside from your former-honeymoon stage way of thinking. Shifting from a once seamlessly integrated component to a mere acquaintance shakes up the soul in an invigorating way, whether or not it is beneficial for your happiness is dictated by your ability to use the change as an opportunity rather than a road block.

Alternative perceptions of others can be brutal to witness and experience, but more often than not they are the driving force in finding the strength to not look back.

Only know you love her when you let her go
And you let her go
 

 

It could never happen to me

by Katie Welker

time

It’s hard for me to wrap my head around the events that have happened this past week, and still continue to unravel this morning. Maybe I’m naive, but it baffles me that there are people who would intentionally hurt, let alone kill, another person.

As I was watching the news at 5:30 this morning I thought, “what if a tragic event like this happened here in Buffalo?”. It really shook me up. So often we get stuck in an, “Oh, it could never happen to me” mentality. That’s the scary part though, because it can.

You think you have time – to say “I love you,” catch up with old friends, read that book, take that road trip, send that love letter, chase that dream. But don’t be fooled; time is completely out of our control and you never know when you or someone you love may run out of it.

Let the fear ignite a fire within you, a passion to go out and do what you’ve always wanted, even in the simplest of ways. 

The world can be chaotic, hurtful, confusing and ruthless. It is also balanced, however, and often shows us beauty, compassion, grit and tenacity. It’s up to you to choose not only how you want to view the world, but also the way in which you participate in it.

“Life is a series of pulls back and forth. You want to do one thing, but you are bound to do something else. Something hurts you, yet you know it shouldn’t. You take certain things for granted, even when you know you should never take anything for granted. A tension of opposites, like a pull on a rubber band. And most of us live somewhere in the middle.” “Sounds like a wrestling match,” I say. “A wrestling match.” He laughs. “Yes, you could describe life that way.” “So which side wins?” I ask. “Which side wins?” He smiles at me, the crinkled eyes, the crooked teeth. “Love wins. Love always wins.”

– Mitch Albom, Tuesdays with Morrie

If today were your last day, would you be happy with how you spent your time?