A beautiful mystery

My mom (mama saint) always told me, “Kate, God works in mysterious ways.” That just never resonated with me when I was younger. I didn’t understand it.

Until college. I found that when I was at my lowest of lows, just when I didn’t think things could get worse and then they did, finally God (or whomever/whatever you believe in) gave me a silver lining. And it never once came in the way that I had anticipated. It took me awhile to realize that the silver linings that presented themselves were more rewarding than the plan I had initially thought was best for me.

When I was heartbroken, I wasn’t given a new boyfriend to fall in love with. Instead, I was given two new friends who now mean the absolute world to me. I can confidently say that I am going to be friends with these guys until the day that I die. Having someone you can be yourself in front of without any reservation is a true blessing, and I have it with these two.

Joe and Brian
Joe and Brian

When I was angry at people who hurt me, God didn’t put them in situations that were laughable so that I could have some sort of immediate gratification. Instead, there was light shed on the fact that those people were more similar to me than I was once too stubborn to recognize. It helped me replace hatred for understanding and compassion. My faith was strengthened through that, and trust me when I say that I could never express how happy I am to be on this journey of figuring out what I genuinely believe in.

forgive

When I was confused about my career, I wasn’t handed a million dollars, a corner office and a dream job description on a silver platter. Instead, I was challenged with how to make a trying situation rewarding and was blessed to tackle those difficulties with a supportive and understanding group of people. Opportunities opened right and left that made me realize I was in exactly the right place considering the timing of my life and the early stage that my career was in.

Warren Buffett and I, March 2013
Warren Buffett and I, March 2013

Nothing in my life has ever been handed to me. I only say that because i’m proud of that and i’m grateful for it. The help that I’ve been given in my life has been demonstrated through the faith of loving people who have supported me without hesitation. I’d take that over a check in the mail any day of the week.

I think that after 23 years I am finally accepting the fact that this great plan I have in my head is likely not going to go the way I envision, just like it hasn’t so far. I didn’t fall in love with the dream job that I always thought I would. I won’t marry my college sweetheart who I would have bet a million bucks on a year or so ago. I won’t be able to cheerlead until I’m old and grey. I may never get the chance to live in Chicago.

And I am perfectly happy with that. 

Because by my dream job vanishing, I have opened my mind to new and exciting possibilities that I know will push me past my potential. My college sweetheart turning into a mere acquaintance has instilled an excitement in me for the next great love of my life that I only wish I could adequately express in words. Having to stop cheerleading just means that now I have the opportunity to coach a young group of girls who have similar passions to my own. Not living in Chicago right now just means I can live there, or anywhere else in the world, later on. For now, my heart is completely captivated by Buffalo and I want nothing more than to take it by storm.

Don’t you see? When one door closes, another one always opens… or at least a window; heck maybe the curtain just opens up a bit. But more options wait for you after your seemingly ideal scenario vanishes. Not knowing what those new options are is invigorating, empowering, and so unbelievably exhilarating  You just can’t be afraid to take a step into the unknown and trust that you don’t have control over everything that happens in your life; there’s beauty to that mystery if you’re willing to open your eyes and witness it.

Lessons from a rock star.

As life only gets more hectic with each passing year, I find myself craving balance and, quite frankly, doing whatever it takes to achieve it. So as soon as my friend Georgia and I heard about one of our new favorite bands, Imagine Dragons, playing a concert in Toronto, we immediately bought tickets with the “we’ll make everything else work around it” mentality. We hopped into CC (my new car, named after my favorite New York Yankee’s pitcher) on Wednesday afternoon and made our way across the border without getting lost (surprising if you know me).

Imagine Dragons at Sound Academy
Georgia and I at Sound Academy before the show started.

If nothing else, we both saw this as an opportunity to catch up, get out of town and see what we were hoping to be a good show. I got so much more out of it than that.

After smiling and batting my eyes all the way up to the third row (perks of being little), we found ourselves completely enthralled by the show that Imagine Dragons put on. Aside from killer vocals that never faltered and an engagement with an intimate crowd I haven’t seen in quite some time, I was most impressed by how humble and appreciate the band was, frontman Dan Reynolds in particular. He had an energy about him that made me feel outside of myself. I remember looking around and actually thinking, “This is what life’s about. Not sitting at a desk all day. But enjoying moments like this. Making time for moments like this.” It made me realize how badly I want certain things out of life.

Dan Reynolds of Imagine Dragons
Dan Reynolds of Imagine Dragons in Toronto

I want that satisfaction of doing something I love and enjoying every second of it. It’s how I felt about cheerleading before circumstances called an end to my biggest passion. I want to be on the brink of tears when something I do resonates with someone else. I want to realize that my “work” impacts the life of someone and brings them joy. And I want that feeling of satisfaction to be consistent, I can’t settle for it being a one-time kind of deal.

I’m a young woman who wants a lot out of life and is on a muddled path of figuring out what exactly those things are and how I’m going to earn them for myself. All I know right now is that balancing my life with things I have to do and things I truly want to do has proven to give me the most happiness. I’m on the right path, and I’ll keep taking one step at a time until I put all of the pieces into place.

Imagine Dragons - It's Time
Music video by Imagine Dragons performing “It’s Time.”

Check out the video of Imagine Dragons performing “It’s Time” to get a glimpse of what I witnessed earlier this week.