Friends and Family

Hope on a rooftop

by Katie Welker

The useless days will add up to something. The shitty waitressing jobs. The hours writing in your journal. The long meandering walks. The hours reading poetry and story collections and novels and dead people’s diaries and wondering about sex and God and whether you should shave under your arms or not. These things are your becoming. – Cheryl Strayed

Warm nights. Beer in hand. A minor case of trespassing on the roof. City lights on the horizon. Fireworks serendipitously illuminated the sky, igniting a child-like satisfaction deep in my heart. Most importantly, two friends by my side that have been an instrumental part of my happiness in the past year.

Sip for sip, we cheers’d to a number of things: to having a great summer, to not falling in love with nitwits, to never getting divorced in the future. We believe in fighting for a relationship you believe in. We also believe in not getting into a relationship unless you’re willing and ready to fight for it.

We promised we would marry someone only if we knew that our friends and family all got along with them. They have to be able to roll with the punches; they have to be able to take a joke and have fun.

If one of us marries a dud then we shook on the fact that we’re allowed to punch that person repeatedly as punishment.

“It’s nice to be single, though” he said. “I ate pizza off of the floor last night and no one judged me for it.” The three of us burst out laughing.

“You’ll be the first to get married!” “Yeah, right. I’ll be last.” “No, it will be you. You’ll get married first.” “Screw it, cheers to being single for life.“ It was the simple and immediate answer to a daunting possibility.

Here’s a simple truth: you don’t know where you’ll be a year from now. You may have an idea, but no one can make an accurate prediction that far in advance. That’s why it is so crucial to make time for moments that fill your heart with joy. There’s value in spending quality time with people who push you past your limits while simultaneously keeping you deeply attached to your values.

You won’t remember the meetings.

You won’t remember the emails.

You won’t remember the bills.

What you will remember is your friends and the good times you share together. You’ll remember the time you spent talking about a past that led you to this moment and the present that will sneak up on you much before you’re ready to accept it.

Go drink on that roof. 

Rooftop

Exposed

by Katie Welker

I genuinely appreciate a man who can take initiative. As an extroverted young woman who makes decisions for myself and others multiple times a day, it is so refreshing for a man to say, “This is what we’re doing. I’ll pick you up at eight, dress appropriately.” Make a legitimate plan. Follow through.

I love a guy who can throw on a pair of boat shoes and grill a steak on a Sunday and then look as sharp as a GQ model in a shirt and tie Monday morning.

Seeing a guy interact with children and genuinely enjoy doing so gets me every time. I’m in absolutely no rush to have children. There’s so much I want to do before that. But I do want a family down the road. And I won’t settle for anything less than a fun-loving, energetic, goofy yet stern man to help me raise our kids.

Someone who will hold the door and remember the little details that mean the most.

I have a pet-peeve about snoring, although I tend to talk in my sleep so I’m not much better.

Out like a light.
Out like a light.

I love a guy who can play dumb games like ‘would you rather…’ and ‘would you still be my friend if…’ with me. If you don’t know how to play these I’d be more than happy to explain. I’m serious.

Anyone who has excessive road rage all of the time gives me anxiety. We’ve all been jerks when driving before. Be nice to people: on the road, in restaurants, at the grocery store. Just treat people with kindness.

I frequently fall in love with the simplicity of a kind heart.

I won’t ever date a doormat of a guy. Have an opinion that you believe in.

Dance around in the kitchen while making dinner, or serving it out of a pizza box. Life gets busy sometimes.

Someone who will say “yes” to a random adventure at 3 p.m. on a Saturday afternoon.

Knowledge is power in every aspect of life and I love a man who is educated. I don’t mean book smart, although I don’t see anything wrong with that. I mean educated in the sense that he knows what he’s passionate about and he lives and breathes that interest of heart. He reads about it, studies it, shares it with others. I love to see someone’s passion set fire to everything else they do.

I fall in love with people who call me out when I’m wrong and push me to my limits. I love a guy who makes me a better person.

I doubt I’d ever date a smoker. Personal preference.

Treat your mother like a saint, your father like your biggest idol and rough-house with your siblings and cousins like your life depends on it (and sometimes it does if your family is nuts like mine.)

And that's just my dad's side of the family. Reunion 2011.
And that’s just my dad’s side of the family. Reunion 2011.

I could go on and on. Those are some of the reasons I choose to place a large emphasis on love in my life. I want to surround myself with individuals that possess such beautiful qualities as those mentioned above.

Shout out to the one man who has never let me down, my dad. He shows me every single day that I can get everything and anything I want out of life if I’m willing to work hard enough for it. He set the bar pretty high for me to find someone who can meet his qualifications. Challenge accepted.

I'm a sucker for candids. My dad and I at my college graduation, May 2012
I’m a sucker for candids. My dad and I at my college graduation, May 2012