Bikini bods and full-length mirrors

by Katie Welker

Since cheerleading has left my life and running has become unreliable, I’ve had to put in extra effort to stay fit and eat healthy. However, I think everyone can relate when I say that constantly being happy with your outward appearance can be frustrating. There’s always room for improvement, and knowing that can lead to a nasty cycle of never feeling satisfied with how you look.

My roommate Aly and I recently went bikini shopping, and contrary to most, we were pretty excited to do so. We eat well, push ourselves to the limit at the gym and keep each other motivated; we both felt pretty confident rockin’ a two-piece suit. I purchased a cute coral combo and after Aly yelled at me for asking, “okay are you sure if I stand this way I still don’t have a shadow from my love handles?” and other absurd questions, I was walking around Victoria’s Secret like I was a 6-foot runway model. Ha!

How do you see yourself?
How do you see yourself?

That was two weeks ago. Today was a different story.

Being the petite 4″11 quirky blonde that I am, it is pretty much a guarantee that I have to hem every pair of pants I own. I went to the tailor today and was stuck in a room with wall-to-wall full-length mirrors. As I changed in and out of nine different pairs of pants, I started to feel bad about myself and how I looked.

I’m not one to make excuses, so I couldn’t sit there and attribute my dislikes to things like the lighting of the room or the possible distortion of the mirrors. Now I know I am no body-builder (nor do I have the personal desire to be one) but I am proud of my body and how I have taken care of it throughout the near-24 years I have been on this planet. So why did I feel like an overweight wench all the sudden?

I don’t have to sit here and preach how the media portrays what is a desirable body type. While I am proud of the fact that I ignore celebrity gossip and trends as much as possible, I still fall victim to questioning whether I fit into the guidelines of society’s interpretation of beautiful.

I got into my car and realized that I had a choice – just like I believe you always do. I could go home and eat out of the two cartons of ice cream I had in the freezer (tempting) or I could go to the gym; I could sulk about how I’m not totally happy with myself today or I could actively do something about it.

I went to the gym. I didn’t have an insane workout where I felt like I could kick someone’s ass. But I took The Perks of Being a Wallflower out of my bag, hopped on the treadmill, put the incline to 6.1 and did a fast walk for a straight hour while knocking back a few chapters (i’m a slow reader.)

If you’re not happy – with how you look, what your goals are, the people you’re surrounded by, whatever it may be – do something to change it. Just make sure that you’re making a change for no one but yourself. Hollywood trends will come and go, some people will think you’re a dud while others will think you’re God’s gift to the Earth. However, the views and beliefs you have of yourself will always be the ones that matter most. At the end of the day, be confident that your choices have made you someone who you can be proud of, inside and out.

Macy Gray, Beauty in the World
Give this one a listen — Macy Gray, Beauty in the World

Surrounded by silver linings.

by Katie Welker

In March of last year I blogged about not realizing the logic of why things come into your life until they have left. To this day, I still find that to be true. However, what I love more than anything is finally realizing why those things have left; I love finding truth to my beliefs, and I love when those reasons sneak up on me. They provide me with those “Ah-ha!” moments which always seem to catch me off guard at the times when I unknowingly need them the most.

Tonight was one of those nights.

Sometimes you come across people in your life that you feel in your gut you’re just supposed to know. You have this innate feeling that your lives would mutually benefit from knowing one another. So you act on it. Sometimes it works out, sometimes it doesn’t. Either way, I think it’s worth the “hey, how are ya?” initiation.

You may also come across people in your life that you know, but not as personally as others. Maybe you share the same group of friends or have been involved in the same activities but just have not spent time one-on-one. Until one day you really look at that person and think, “Hmm… I know about them, but I don’t really know them.”

I was fortunate enough that Canisius College, my home away from home, brought two individuals like those mentioned above into my life. These two relatively new, yet sentimentally substantial friendships make me feel so grateful for the people and things that have left my life.

One of the quirkiest quotes I have ever come across is from the book Eat Pray Love (which is still sitting half-read on my nightstand). It goes like this:

God never slams a door in your face without opening a box of Girl Scout cookies.

It’s underlined in black ink on page 22 of my personal copy. So often we come to find the silver lining of a horrible series of events in the most unexpected of places. Life can be so sarcastically deceptive in that way. But if you have a good sense of humor, you learn to roll with those punches and actually appreciate them.

If you can be open-minded enough to recognize those gut feelings you have and then be bold enough to take action when you deem those feelings worthy, I have no doubt in my mind that life will reward you with an “Ah-ha!” moment of your own. That moment may come in the form of a new friendship, a chance to act on a dream you may have been too scared to chase, or simply being able to able to look back on your past and realize it’s not a part of your present for a reason. That moment will come. Until then, move forward with an honest heart filled with nothing but good intentions. That in itself is worthy of a silver lining.

Two of my most recent silver linings.
Two of my most recent silver linings.