Simple steps

Typically when I want or feel the need to get some exercise, my top choice is to go for a run. I can knock out a mile in 7-10 minutes (depending on my mood, the soreness of my knee and the number of doughnuts I ate that day), work up a sweat and come home with a feeling of accomplishment. It’s quick, simple and the only thing I think about is putting one foot in front of the other.

The past few days, however, i’ve slowed it down a bit and gone for walks instead. The positive side of working in the suburbs is that during my lunch break, I can step outside and take a 20-30 minute stroll. I’ve extended this after work as well, and try to step outside just before sunset and partake in the same low-key activity.

Today I found more appreciation for these simple steps than I once had before. As I strolled through my neighborhood, filled with old houses, beautiful gardens and elegantly cracked sidewalks, a handful of sights stuck out and made me smile from ear to ear.

There was a frame made of faded yellow roses on the center of the outside front door that reminded me of the yellow frame around the looking-hole in the TV show Friends.

An old couple was straight up giddy as they leisurely made their way across the street. They reminded me of a couple of kids without a worry in the world. Right across the block a newly-engaged couple I know was walking into a favorite local restaurant.

In front of one of the many old houses with a yard covered in wild flowers was a framed black and white photo of that exact home years ago nailed to a giant tree. The writing on it was faded, but the mystery of who put that photo there and what their connection to the home was made me stare at it wide-eyed for almost a full minute.

A few doors down there was a boy who couldn’t have been older than seven or eight years old practicing his soccer kick in his front yard as he took pointers from a man who appeared to be his father.

An old man in beat up jeans and an old T-shirt lit up a cigar as he kicked his feet up in an old wicker chair; two friends threw their heads back laughing as they sipped on a glass of wine in a front yard; a young guy had his laptop set up on a small table as he Skyped who appeared to be a friend or family member.

I walked for not even thirty minutes and I swear I saw all of this. However, I also saw a girl yanking her dog down the street as she stared zombie-like down at her phone, completely unaware of the world around her. That’s not to say she wasn’t sending an urgent text message or waiting for a life-changing email. I’m the last person who could or should be making assumptions about that sort of issue.

There are important parts of life that are more easily dealt with through the means of technology. Heck, i’m typing this on my MacBook Pro and I listened to music as I walked using my iPhone. Just make sure you set aside a time and a place for the parts of your life that can’t pop up in a notification on the screen of your phone. Those are the things that help us unwind after a long day, bring balance back to our demanding lives, and ultimately give us more peace of mind than we could have ever anticipated.

Take notice to all of those common yet astounding daily details. Let them overflow and positively affect other areas of your possibly-exhausted life. Absorb that hidden gratitude the best way you know how. The truth is, no one knows how many more steps they have left, how many more hands they’ll get to hold or cigars they’ll get to light up. In my humble opinion, there can be no harm in living a life with wonder and mindfulness. So take it all in; after all, it could all be gone tomorrow.

 

 

Why it works

Relationships are arguably the trickiest part of life. It’s hard enough to figure out who you are, let alone how you work with and complement another individual. If you add living in the same small apartment into the mix, the level of complexity only increases. Personalities can clash, bad habits can drive you up a wall and the integration of other friends and family could very well make you want to run for your life.

Yet as always, there’s the possible flip side. That’s what I’ve been fortunate enough to experience while living with my roommate and best friend, Aly. In any relationship – platonic, professional or romantic – there are little tendencies that either hurt the relationship or help make it work.

After living with Aly for over two years, I’ve come to learn what has made us work so well:

Al

 Above all else, be thoughtful

This is hands-down the most admirable quality I think a person can have. It shows that you care about someone other than yourself in the most endearing way. It can be as simple as saying Hey, thanks for taking out the trash. I really appreciate it, or picking up toilet paper when you’re out at Wegmans.

After my brother passed, Aly wrote a thoughtful note on our bathroom mirror every morning just so that I had something positive to wake up to. And I could never forget the tricky situation we found ourselves in the middle of when Aly’s car ran out of gas on the highway. Ha! That’s probably one of our funniest stories to date.

If any relationship is going to work, being thoughtful has to be mutual. I’m grateful I live with a best friend who has no problem being selfless.

 

No shame when it comes to eating. None at all.
No shame when it comes to eating. None at all.

Listen

In my book, a good friend is synonymous with a good listener. I can’t even count the amount of times Aly has listened to me say, I’m at such a crossroads, I don’t know which next step to take, or Well I obviously want to talk to him but i’m not going to because I don’t want to bother him, or Seriously I want a six pack but I just can’t stop eating Snickers and ice cream… do I look bigger than I did last year?! 

I don’t know how she listens to me all of the time! But she does. And more importantly, she absorbs what I’m saying and offers me valuable insight that, more often than not, results in me saying, Yeah, you’re right. Where would I be without that? The answer is simple: out of my mind.

Al6
Color Run 5K, Summer 2013

Back off

Let’s be honest, everyone needs their space sometimes. Being around other people 24/7 can be exhausting; it’s imperative to take time for ourselves in order to recharge and gain some peace of mind.

There are days Aly will walk into the apartment, unpack her groceries and go right to bed without saying a word. There are other days I’ll come home stressed, throw my sneakers on and go out for a run without saying a word to her, either.

We don’t get upset by it; we acknowledge it and know that when we’re done being upset, we’ll end up on the living room couch with a glass of wine venting to each other. Give people the space they need and they’ll come back closer than ever before.

 

Go, Bills <3
Let’s go, Buffalo!

Common ground

Having common interests makes life just a little more convenient. However, it can’t be expected that you’ll always have the same favorite TV show, sports team, breakfast food and movie genre. That’s okay.

Aly and I both love the Yankees, mimosas for breakfast and romantic comedies. However, Aly likes watching the Disney Channel while I opt for the news; I play Frank Sinatra Pandora while she rocks out to Beyonce. We poke fun at one another for our differences, but we never use it in or rude or disrespectful way. You can’t change anyone other than yourself, so you may as well find a way to embrace the differences.

 

Number one fans of the Griffs and each other. #sentimentalKatie
Number one fans of the Griffs and each other. #sentimentalKatie

Encouragement

Who doesn’t love having their own personal cheerleader root them on 24/7? I often have some crazy ideas and extremely ambitious goals, but Aly is always encouraging me to go for it.

Coach a high school cheerleading team? Go for it. Take a job interview in NYC? Go for it. Travel 600 miles to pursue a worthwhile matter of the heart? Go for it. That extra push is usually just what I need and I’m so grateful that Aly gives that to me without hesitation.

The success of a happy, fulfilling relationship is so often dependent upon a delicate balance of tolerance and acceptance. The fact of the matter remains true across the board, though: when you find people that make that balancing act seem like a walk through the park, hold on tight and never be too timid to express your true gratitude. Thanks for being an incredible friend, Al. 

Today also happens to be the day that Aly graduates from her second master’s program at Canisius College. Can you say smarty pants?!

I’ve seen her spend her entire weekend cranking out homework time and time again, pass out on the couch with her face in a text book, debate future possibilities for weeks-on-end, test her own curiosities and live out her passion for helping others through countless projects and volunteer opportunities. I can’t begin to express how proud I am of her. Selfishly, i’m also glad to have some more free time with my best friend now! Congrats, Al. You earned it.

After Aly graduated from her Master's program. May 2012.
After Aly graduated from her first Master’s program in 2013