Month: May 2013

When you let [him] go

by Katie Welker
Staring at the bottom of your glass
Hoping one day you’ll make a dream last
But dreams come slow and they go so fast

I wore rose-colored glasses. He was a dream to me that I considered myself fortunate enough to have made a reality. He pushed my buttons, a necessary quality for me. He was smart and so unbelievably driven. Our families adored one another. At bottom, it was effortless. I really believe that we made each other better, at least for a short while. I could walk around without makeup, swear to my heart’s content and eat like a slob in front of him without being judged. He was my best friend and the love of my life. That is, until he wasn’t anymore.

Staring at the ceiling in the dark
Same old empty feeling in your heart
‘Cause love comes slow and it goes so fast

Things change when you let someone go. The rose-colored glasses shatter. The halo around their head disappears. The sarcastic remarks they made are no longer wrapped in good intentions and now come across as just plain rude. The caring that you have for them remains, but the way in which they complement your ambitions shifts.

Well you see her when you fall asleep
But never to touch and never to keep
‘Cause you loved her too much
And you dived too deep

Sometimes you have to remove yourself from someone’s life long enough to see who he or she, and you, are without one another. In due time, true colors always reveal themselves. Of course, your impression of a person is based on personal perception often dictated by experiences over time.

Yet time removed can open your eyes and allow you to step aside from your former-honeymoon stage way of thinking. Shifting from a once seamlessly integrated component to a mere acquaintance shakes up the soul in an invigorating way, whether or not it is beneficial for your happiness is dictated by your ability to use the change as an opportunity rather than a road block.

Alternative perceptions of others can be brutal to witness and experience, but more often than not they are the driving force in finding the strength to not look back.

Only know you love her when you let her go
And you let her go
 

 

Hope on a rooftop

by Katie Welker

The useless days will add up to something. The shitty waitressing jobs. The hours writing in your journal. The long meandering walks. The hours reading poetry and story collections and novels and dead people’s diaries and wondering about sex and God and whether you should shave under your arms or not. These things are your becoming. – Cheryl Strayed

Warm nights. Beer in hand. A minor case of trespassing on the roof. City lights on the horizon. Fireworks serendipitously illuminated the sky, igniting a child-like satisfaction deep in my heart. Most importantly, two friends by my side that have been an instrumental part of my happiness in the past year.

Sip for sip, we cheers’d to a number of things: to having a great summer, to not falling in love with nitwits, to never getting divorced in the future. We believe in fighting for a relationship you believe in. We also believe in not getting into a relationship unless you’re willing and ready to fight for it.

We promised we would marry someone only if we knew that our friends and family all got along with them. They have to be able to roll with the punches; they have to be able to take a joke and have fun.

If one of us marries a dud then we shook on the fact that we’re allowed to punch that person repeatedly as punishment.

“It’s nice to be single, though” he said. “I ate pizza off of the floor last night and no one judged me for it.” The three of us burst out laughing.

“You’ll be the first to get married!” “Yeah, right. I’ll be last.” “No, it will be you. You’ll get married first.” “Screw it, cheers to being single for life.“ It was the simple and immediate answer to a daunting possibility.

Here’s a simple truth: you don’t know where you’ll be a year from now. You may have an idea, but no one can make an accurate prediction that far in advance. That’s why it is so crucial to make time for moments that fill your heart with joy. There’s value in spending quality time with people who push you past your limits while simultaneously keeping you deeply attached to your values.

You won’t remember the meetings.

You won’t remember the emails.

You won’t remember the bills.

What you will remember is your friends and the good times you share together. You’ll remember the time you spent talking about a past that led you to this moment and the present that will sneak up on you much before you’re ready to accept it.

Go drink on that roof. 

Rooftop