Month: March 2013

Surrounded by silver linings.

by Katie Welker

In March of last year I blogged about not realizing the logic of why things come into your life until they have left. To this day, I still find that to be true. However, what I love more than anything is finally realizing why those things have left; I love finding truth to my beliefs, and I love when those reasons sneak up on me. They provide me with those “Ah-ha!” moments which always seem to catch me off guard at the times when I unknowingly need them the most.

Tonight was one of those nights.

Sometimes you come across people in your life that you feel in your gut you’re just supposed to know. You have this innate feeling that your lives would mutually benefit from knowing one another. So you act on it. Sometimes it works out, sometimes it doesn’t. Either way, I think it’s worth the “hey, how are ya?” initiation.

You may also come across people in your life that you know, but not as personally as others. Maybe you share the same group of friends or have been involved in the same activities but just have not spent time one-on-one. Until one day you really look at that person and think, “Hmm… I know about them, but I don’t really know them.”

I was fortunate enough that Canisius College, my home away from home, brought two individuals like those mentioned above into my life. These two relatively new, yet sentimentally substantial friendships make me feel so grateful for the people and things that have left my life.

One of the quirkiest quotes I have ever come across is from the book Eat Pray Love (which is still sitting half-read on my nightstand). It goes like this:

God never slams a door in your face without opening a box of Girl Scout cookies.

It’s underlined in black ink on page 22 of my personal copy. So often we come to find the silver lining of a horrible series of events in the most unexpected of places. Life can be so sarcastically deceptive in that way. But if you have a good sense of humor, you learn to roll with those punches and actually appreciate them.

If you can be open-minded enough to recognize those gut feelings you have and then be bold enough to take action when you deem those feelings worthy, I have no doubt in my mind that life will reward you with an “Ah-ha!” moment of your own. That moment may come in the form of a new friendship, a chance to act on a dream you may have been too scared to chase, or simply being able to able to look back on your past and realize it’s not a part of your present for a reason. That moment will come. Until then, move forward with an honest heart filled with nothing but good intentions. That in itself is worthy of a silver lining.

Two of my most recent silver linings.
Two of my most recent silver linings.

A dangerous combination.

by Katie Welker

It took years for me to become the outspoken and extremely driven young woman I am today. I was not always the girl who felt comfortable approaching a stranger in a crowded room. I never dared to ask someone out or give them my phone number. I hid behind others and was shy and timid beyond belief. Shocking, I know. And I thank God that I’m no longer that way. It doesn’t suit me and I only wish I had realized it sooner.

The shy girl that I used to be was also, quite honestly, a fool at times. I would take one little comment a guy said and hold onto it so tightly that my knuckles would turn white. I believed that a kind remark meant a world of possibility. I was living with my head in the clouds and had no firm roots in the ground. Yet after awhile I found myself getting sick of waiting for things to happen. I was sick of having a mind full of unanswered questions and ambiguous exchanges. I’m not proud of how off my perception once was. But you learn your best lessons through some of your biggest mistakes, and after a long time, I’m at peace with that concept.

I now know that holding on to something that isn’t mutual just isn’t fair to you. Giving out second chances and having nothing change just leaves you stuck in the mud when you should be focused on moving forward. And putting yourself on the line only to be left out to dry time and time again isn’t worth the effort.

I’d like to think that I take things for face value now. And maybe that makes me jaded and cynical, but so be it. Don’t get me wrong, I’m still a sucker for love and will always be hopeful that the dumb mistakes I make are just putting me one step closer to finally getting it right. I take a bold approach to love and I find no shame in that. Quite honestly, I wish more people would do the same.

If you want to meet someone, ask them to hang out. If you like someone, tell them how you feel. You don’t have to get on one knee and pop the question. But honestly, what is the harm in saying, “hey I’m interested in you, I was wondering if you’d like to spend some time together.” I don’t get it. I don’t understand why it seems like the most difficult thing in the whole world to just be forward and honest about how you feel. Worst-case scenario, it’s not reciprocated. You’ll bounce back. I promise.

Learn from my mistakes if you can. At the end of the day most people, or at least the people I like to surround myself with, just want to feel loved and appreciated by those they care about. And in my experience, that cannot happen if you’re not willing to be a little bold and a little vulnerable. It can be a dangerous combination, one that could hurt you in the end and make you question yourself. But when that combination pays off, there is nothing else on the planet that compares to how worthwhile that feeling is.